What nervous system regulation is and IS NOT

What nervous system regulation is and IS NOT

& the case for somatic healing.

Regulation actually isn’t the goal - capacity is.

Never has there been a more important time for somatic work and nervous system regulation.

And do not misunderstand me when I say regulation - I do not mean becoming subdued, falling into line, becoming more manageable, or acceptable, or presentable.

Why? Because we don’t need to calm down, we need the CAPACITY for our justified rage, grief, sadness, indignation, horror. As well as yes, for our joy, connection, community, love, pleasure, and desire.

We need more of a capacity to feel without running or fixing or shutting down.

I’m a highly sensitive human. I feel things really deeply.

And that used to seem like a curse. Even that word “sensitive” was wielded at me like an insult. My sensitivity was often inconvenient for other people. It caused them to come face to face with uncomfortable truths that they weren’t ready to confront and to be accountable in ways they didn’t want to and be vulnerable to a degree they weren’t prepared for.

The most sensitive person in the room is often like the canary in the coal mine. They’re an oracle of sorts. They can see and sense and name things that the average person isn’t tuned into. And as a result, they’re often made to feel pretty crazy for it. And since no one wants to feel like the insane loner at the party, we learn to override or stuff down or cut off our ability to feel. Because, especially as kids or young adults, we’d rather belong than be authentic.

But at a certain point, we can’t keep outrunning what our bodies are trying to tell us.

The bill comes due eventually. The feelings have to be felt.

For me, there was a time where all that sensitivity would either overwhelm or immobilize me. I didn’t know how to be with it let alone do anything productive with it or translate it into relational growth. And most of us fall into patterns of freeze & fawn when that’s the case. It feels safer to our nervous system to disconnect or appease, whatever allows for greater security and connection.

If you grew up in a household where having feelings was punishable or where speaking out was a threat to your belonging, your nervous system learned to keep you safe by telling you to ignore those feelings, that they must be wrong. It was a brilliant coping mechanism back then.

But now more than ever, we need more people to be able to feel their outrage and still take action from a clear and grounded place.

That’s the beauty of regulation. Not numbing or diminishing what you feel, but learning to inhabit it and do something with it. We need more people fully alive in their hearts and bodies, grief and rage and joy and all.

Somewhere along the way, wellness and healing culture were co-opted by an agenda to keep us small, and obedient, and numb. It was the perfect trojan horse. Because we had already been trained to be obsessed with our body image and dedicated to pursuing good health. So when we were told that “regulating” and “fixing” every problem or emotion that we have is the holy grail of wellness, we listened. It’s easier to control a subdued and submissive population.

But the real marker of wellbeing is our ability to fully inhabit our bodies, our emotions and our lives. It’s our ability to feel massive feelings without allowing them to collapse us or interrupt our intuition. It’s our ability to speak out and advocate for what we need rather than accepting the status quo.

The real wellness goal is to become someone who is led by the wisdom of her body rather than the fear-mongering of a social media guru or news outlet or “health” conglomerate.

And so, it’s time we return to the practice of being in our bodies, speaking their language, and translating it in a way that allows us to have a greater capacity to live a full life. A life that sometimes demands our rage and indignation to correct systemic injustices.

A life that often demands our presence to enjoy the beauty and pleasure that is all around us. And a life that always demands that we remember that at our very core, love is who we are and our bodies are how we feel, express, and know that.

with love,

Megan

ps…if you want to learn more about calling love, authenticity and JOY into your life, you can work with me 1:1, follow me on TikTok for no BS advice, and even attend my 2026 retreat for women - it will change your life!

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